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A question for 'U
From the Fall 2002 Parent Newsletter
By Rod Loper, University Counseling & Consulting Services.
Dr. Roper has retired, but Scott Slattery now addresses questions
from parents and guardians of University of Minnesota students. Please
address your questions to Dr. Slattery at 612-625-4568, or e-mail
slatt008@umn.edu.
Q: After attending Parent Orientation, I realize that my
son has never really had much opportunity to learn how to work through
problems he might have with other people. He is an only child, and
most of his friendships were in the context of school and sports.
When there were arguments, there was always a coach or teacher around
to mediate. If he has a problem with his roommate this year, how can
he learn to resolve conflicts on his own? Or am I worrying about nothing?
A: In recent years, educators have been giving more
attention to the topics of getting along with peers and resolving
conflict. Many high schools have developed peer interventions, where
trained young people help classmates address conflict through clear
and respectful communication. In many cases, having one’s peers
mediate conflicts and model good communication can make a big difference.
Our residence hall staff members use that process by providing community
advisers—upper division students—in each house of the
halls. These “CAs” are available as a first step in clarifying
communication between roommates and neighbors.
If disagreements are still not settled, professional housing staff
can intervene, or there may be a referral for brief, focused counseling
with a counseling professional in University
Counseling & Consulting Services (UCCS) offices on
the Minneapolis or St. Paul campuses. In addition, UCCS will offer
workshops this fall in assertive communication, which also can help
students identify and resolve conflicts.
Getting along with others can lead to a positive educational experience
and career success. Several programs in Campus Life offer skills in
leadership, community building, and diversity. These skills are all
helpful, not only in resolving disagreements, but also in making the
University experience more fulfilling and rewarding. Students can
contact the Student Activities
Office or their college advising office for more information.
Congratulations—you’ve put your finger on a growth edge
for your son. The U is ripe with opportunities for him to learn what
he needs. |
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