Q: My son isn't a drinker, but he seems to be the "designated babysitter" for two of his roommates. They will buy a 24-pack of beer and drink until they're drunk. They expect him to watch out for them until they sober up. Twice this year, he has ended up staying up all night to wake them up periodically and make sure they were okay. He says he doesn't mind—he would rather be inconvenienced than have something bad happen to his friends. And he plans to room with them next year again. What can I say to make him see this is a bad choice?

A: I share your concern for your son and, of course, his friends. They are into a very risky, abusive drinking pattern and putting your son in an almost untenable bind. What if your son falls asleep on one of these binge nights? Or what if one of the friends doesn't wake up? Simple fairness would suggest that it is wrong to saddle a true friend with such responsibility.

The designated-driver tradition is well respected in college social patterns now and does a lot of good. Your son's situation, however, is another matter. He is not being merely inconvenienced but cast in the role of enabler, supporting irresponsible drinking by his peers. With him running interference, they have less need to face possible consequences and to drink responsibly.

Help your son see that his being "helpful" is really not helpful at all in this instance. By saying, "I'd rather not accept this much responsibility for you," he could offer them an opportunity to grow up—something a true friend would do for a buddy.

Your son might benefit by talking with someone about his friends' drinking patterns. Boynton Health Service has a specialist who can talk with students about their own or a friend's chemical health issues. Your son can call 612-625-6410 and ask for an appointment.

When students know that a friend, roommate, or neighbor is seriously drunk, they should call for help. Someone needs to determine if the victim is in danger. If your son is living in a residence hall, he can contact his community adviser (CA), the security monitor on duty, or the hall director. These staff members have been trained to assess the seriousness of a situation and call for help when necessary. Off-campus students should call 911 and ask an emergency responder to check out their friend. We would all agree that it's far better for a student to be embarrassed by a police report than fail to survive a night of drinking.