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Communications : Past Questions for
'U' |
A
question for 'U
From the Spring 2004 Parent Newsletter
Q: My daughter calls home whenever something
goes wrong. I’m sure she doesn’t really expect us
to know the answers to her problems, but I’m never sure
how we should react. Any suggestions on what we should do?
A: When students experience conflicts at the
U—with roommates, professors, housing, or the registrar,
for example—parents often say that they don’t want
to move in and “fix” the problem, but neither do
they want to stand by passively and do nothing.
When you find yourself asking, “What should we do?” the
following guidelines may be helpful.
- Be involved, but avoid controlling the situation. Involvement
is about being a parent. Emphasize (and model) collaboration,
not control.
- Communicate. Speak with your child about how involved
she or he wants you to be.
- Be a coach. Discuss plans and strategies, and offer
assistance on how to navigate the system.
- Make referrals. As coach, suggest the following resources:
- Advising offices across campus, great
for advocacy and
exploring options.
- University Counseling & Consulting Services, good
for reviewing options and practicing assertiveness.
612-624-3323.
- Learning and Academic Skills Center, good
for students struggling with academic issues. 612-624-7546.
- Residence hall staff. Student staff
and professional staff are on hand to provide guidance
and suggest resources.
- Student Dispute Resolution Center, great
for mediating faculty issues. 612-625-5900.
Any of these offices can provide referrals to other resources
on campus or in the community.
- Set deadlines. Ask your student to come up with
realistic deadlines for following through on the
issue, and clarify how you will hear about the outcome.
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Dr. Scott Slattery, University Counseling & Consulting
Services, addresses questions from parents of University of Minnesota
students. He may be reached at 612-625-4568 or slatt008@umn.edu.
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