Post graduation: travel or job?
From the Spring 2008 Parent Newsletter
My daughter is graduating this spring, and she
doesn't seem to have a clear plan on what she'll do after
graduating except "travel or maybe get a job." How can I
help her think about developing a real plan?
Looking beyond the graduation "finish line," seniors may see exciting prospects
for travel, while parents see a worrisome loan debt and an uncertain job forecast.
It's hard for graduates and their parents to reconcile such dual realities. What
should parents do? Let them have a final fling exploring Alaska or emphasize
the need for a job at the risk of being labeled meddlesome?
Once again, I'm going to exercise my "it all depends" option and reiterate the
importance of communication and negotiation.
A developmental perspective
To help understand how young adults negotiate the process of identity definition,
noted developmental theorist James Marcia describes four statuses that individuals
may adopt. Each status takes into account the struggles around questions such
as "What do I want to do with my life?" and an individual's readiness to make
commitments in areas such as relationships and career.
Those who fit into the first status, "achievement," have typically resolved personal
struggles. They are able to make genuine commitments based on an accurate understanding
of themselves in terms of their needs, values, and interests.
Individuals in the second status, "foreclosure," may look a lot like achievers
because they will assert clear commitments: "I want to go to law school." The
difference, however, is that foreclosers often are making commitments to avoid
resolving struggles. They may, for example, choose a career because it offers
job security or to avoid the financial uncertainty of pursuing their true passion—"An
attorney probably has better job options than an anthropologist."
Individuals in the third status, "moratorium," are known for not knowing. They
take commitments seriously and are not inclined to make any commitments until
they can resolve their struggles. While students in this status may ask for more
time to figure things out, they are often quite motivated and use time strategically
to make satisfying, longstanding commitments. In other words, they will move
into achievement status.
Students in the final status, "diffusion," often appear lost. They have either
avoided or not even encountered identity struggles, and they are not prepared
to make commitments. Diffusers may request more time, but they don't how to use
their time in purposeful ways, and they may continue to flounder. While the moratorium
student may use a trip to Alaska to make a meaningful decision, the diffuser
will use it to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Defining your role in the process
Marcia's status model can be used as a guideline for defining your role, as the
parent, in the process of working with your graduate.
Achiever graduates
Because their commitments have been well conceived, achievers tend to have clear
goals and plans, but they may need help implementing them. Your role will be
one of coach and consultant, maybe recommending guidebooks or providing guidance
on how to seek professional mentorships. Allow yourself to be open to creative
solutions, including those that might involve financial investment, such as covering
early loan payments or purchasing "professional" clothing.
Foreclosure graduates
Working with foreclosers is practically no different than working with achievers.
The caution regarding foreclosers is that their avoidance of struggles can eventually
catch up with them. For example, the forecloser who enters law school despite
having an interest in anthropology may hit a wall when her lack of genuine interest
in law fails to sustain motivation. Foreclosers are more likely to change commitments
later. Any financial risks that could have long-term implications should be carefully
considered.
Moratorium graduates
Because they don't make clear commitments about future career plans, moratorium
graduates can give parents angina. For these graduates, however, parents may
take a few deep breaths while considering that concessions made in the short
term are likely to be excellent investments for the long term. The parent's role
here is more that of short-term provider than consultant. This may involve helping
financially by making short-term loan payments, or by financing opportunities
such as quality internships or travel, or by pitching in for a few months' room
and board.
Diffused graduates
These graduates may actually expect parents to play the provider role. Unlike
with moratorium graduates, however, parents will need to do more than take a
few deep breaths in negotiating outcomes. Because diffusers often struggle with
structure and accountability, it is important for parents to openly discuss these
factors and negotiate any support they might offer.
For example, it helps to set clear, realistic deadlines for achieving agreed-upon
goals and to have clear consequences if goals are not met as planned. Setbacks
and failures can help clarify values, needs, and interests for diffusers, so
remember that helping them to find help is an option if you are tempted to rescue
them.
Communication and consultation
Given these four status descriptions, if you are unsure where your student
is in relation to career planning, try having a purposeful conversation.
First, consider how clear they are—or are not—about their interests,
values, and needs, and how they are—or are not—taking these things
into consideration when exploring career options. Second, consider their
level of commitment to any actual plans they are considering after graduation.
If you have concerns or are confused, think: "consultation, consultation, consultation." This
means considering where you and your graduate can go for answers. Other parents,
books, Internet blogs, and career counseling professionals are good starting
points. |
